We all want to be loved, right? This desire, this deep seated longing is something that we all have in common, no matter whether we are male or female, young or not, single or married, great-looking or not there yet, wealthy or poor, happy or still working on it…. We all want to feel accepted and loved, seen and recognized for what we really are and where we are. It is the way a human being is designed: we need food to eat to support our amazing physical machines, we need inspiration to keep our minds occupied; and we need food called ‘love’ to feed our souls so we can grow… You, me, that grumpy guy over there, that overweight lady, all of us, even those people whom we think to be the bad guys and we do not like them at all, they want to be loved too..
And that is the way it is. It is the law.
What I have observed during my being here, (45 years on planet Earth!) is how many of us are afraid to shine, afraid to love others, to love themselves or even look and act their best. All these fears are there because love is not.
Here is the secret of love for you.
Love with another is only possible when we know self-love first! Self-love is the secret that no one told us about. Self-love is the star gate to consciousness, to the “bliss” zone. John Kehoe, a teacher of the Mind Power put it like this: ‘When we have relationship with our subconscious, we have everything!’ In my words: when we have awesome and loving relationship with ourselves, we have it all. The rest is a bonus.
Self-love is what you are really after, darling. Self- love is awesome, self-love is power, self-love is being in your center and not needing to rely on anyone’s love on the outside to feel happy and elated. Self-love is sexy. Self-love is the key to human happiness. Your self-love is the key to Your happiness.
Self-love is loving your body, loving your thoughts and loving your heart, as they are. The trick is to feel great about all of the above. And that is where the work begins. Acceptance is a good start.
Here is what I have observed about my own journey of self-love. I share my personal experience here for one reason only – to help you see what you might want to see and learn from it.
I was blessed to get here with a challenged body, very strong mind and a very open heart. Some combination that is, I tell you. So I had no choice but pay attention and build a loving relationship with all of the above. I guess it is my contract with the higher force – to live in a body of a sex Goddess with a weird philosopher mind and a heart of a sage. When I am not loving myself, my body gets sick; when the body gets sick, the mind gets depressed… and I would start having many doubts about my worthiness and purpose. We all know how much light we shine in that state of being.
Through years of practicing love and awareness, I have learned to love and accept my limitations, to recognize the ego voice, to turn the volume down of the negative voices in my head…… and tap into what was real. Whatever I was learning I was teaching to others through yoga and my way of being… and the other way around – whatever I was teaching others, I was learning myself. I have been encouraging others to love their bodies through my yoga classes and numerous conversations for over 15 years now. Some said: ‘If I had a body like yours, I would love it too.’ “Wait a second!” – I say. May be it is because I decided to love my body that it looks like this, and not the other way. How do you know what comes first? Ah?
Here is a good question to ask yourself in the beginning of a new year, a new chapter of your life: Do I love myself? Do I love my body, that is nothing less but the temple of my Soul, my precious tool of consciousness, my human vehicle, my point of reference to NOW? Do I have a great relationship with myself?
If yes – awesome! I am sure you rock your world wherever you are, cos that is what we do when the work on a body level is done, we move on to the next stage of growth and expansion. Mind and Soul come next. Stop reading right now and send this article to those who might need it.
If your answer is no, let’s find courage to look at ‘Why?’
Start with the body. Let’s face it, when we are not in the body ( whether it is not well/overweight/unattractive/etc), we are not feeling that great. When we don’t like the way we look, even if it is just one body part, we are not experiencing ourselves the best we can/could. When we are feeling insecure, small and non-attractive, we are not capable to relate to the outer world in a harmonious way. It is just the way it is. It is the Low.
If you at a point in your life where you want to shift and change your relationship to the outer world, here is the tip for you – change your relationship with yourself first. How? Easy, if you want it badly enough!
1. Sit down in silence and ask yourself some honest questions: start with your body, level 1. Forget the rest for now. Take the first step. Have a good conversation with it. It might say a few things you will be surprised to learn.
2. Make a program of Self-Love. I know it sounds kind of weird, but who cares? You want to progress and feel happy, right? So do what it takes to get there. Write down a list of things that you want to start doing to begin a new relationship with yourself. Start walking or working out, take up the dry brushing or saunas, join yoga classes, take a new course in some great activity. Start eating new food that your body will benefit from. Consider super foods, they are the real medicine.
3. Find amazing books or awesome videos that will help you get inspired. You are ready!
Another good question to self-dig.
Did you know that many of us are unconsciously afraid to look and feel our best?
Many people have built this armor around them to protect themselves from attention, from the responsibilities of relating to others, from intimacy, in short, from life. I would know, I was one of them. Shrinking and hiding is so much easier, isn’t it? According to Gabriel Cousens, M.D., the author of ‘Conscious Eating’ many people “fear receiving too much attention and the demand for intimacy this would bring up.” How accurate that is! The guy has written a book on conscious eating, but we all know that eating is a part of living. So, conscious living is what it is all about.
Have a good look at yourself and ask what it is that you are afraid of, if you are not in ‘the body yet’. I will be honest with you here, it is not always a picnic to look hot and feel awesome. We are not living on a deserted island, we are all here sharing the same space, showing each other what life is like for each of us and often challenging each other to grow. I had to learn to live with being called ‘sexy’ when I know that I am much more than that. When we become our best versions of ourselves, we have more challenges to deal with and lessons to learn. That is why we are here.
Please understand one fundamental truth about how it works to be a human being: If we don’t build a loving and harmonious relationship with what we call ‘Me’, we have zero chance to have it with anyone else. Ze-ro! No one will fill that emptiness inside, no matter how much they love us.
We must come out of the fear zone and ‘shine’. That is the only choice, if we want to experience feeling loved during our human existence, and.. let’s be honest… we all do!
And here is another secret for you – Self-Love is the real love that you are longing for. And as long as you hate your body and don’t really like your pictures and are ashamed to admit all ‘the f..ck ups’ you have managed, you are doomed, baby! Stuck and stagnated. Why sentence yourself to a loveless existence when you can shine your best to this world and be the love that you want??? Once you find the self-love, and that is the inside job, externally you will attract so much love that you could never dream of. Dealing with it is another story and perhaps I cover it in my next blog.
Here is the conclusion, angels. Come out and shine your best!
Be the best person you know. Work on yourself relentlessly.
Be prepared to deal with the consequences that come with looking hot and feeling awesome. You will get attention and it will not always be good. It is ok. Many people in this world hate their bodies and cannot find the power to change it. Don’t take it personal. It is their stuff, not yours. Inspire them by being the best You!
You might encounter those who will think they love you, but they don’t see the real you beyond your stunning looks. Be selective and wise. Show your heart to people as much, so they know what you are really made of. Don’t shrink because of the fear of being misunderstood and judged.
Be brave to be the best you can, physically, mentally and spiritually. You are here to live and love out loud.
By loving yourself and embracing your own journey you give permission to others to do it too. Conscious is new ‘sexy’.
Thank you for spending time with me here. May you find your self-love and shine your awesomeness to this world the best you can. The world needs it.